Life with Lotus Maria

We had some awesomely hot days the end of May. And like her momma, Lotus likes it warm enough to wear not much clothing. We even got to enjoy a rare day at SF's Ocean Beach that didn't involve a wool sweater. Being that i am now a part time student this heat wave coincided with a few days my classmates were in school taking finals, but I was not. I tortured them with photos of us at the beach while they were taking a macroeconomics final. I know, not the nicest thing I could do. But hey these days are few and far between in SF a girl's got to gloat when she can.

Lotus got some great Poppa Ron and Grandma time this spring. They came out for two months and spent one of the months in an apartment not far from us. It was great to have them around. Lotus loved seeing them so often and it made me sad they aren't closer.

Nate and I got some amazing time as well. One whole weekend they watched Lotus so we could go to Napa. It was really great.
One of my favorite evenings while they were in town was Oscar Sunday. Andrew, Nate's brother, invited Gloria as his date to the Oscars. Ron and the rest of us watched all the horrible pre-awards show television to catch a glimpse of Gloria. It was all very exciting. We saw her many times. It will be a great thing to tell Lotus later on.

I sometimes scroll back through this blog and see how much Lotus has grown. I do this because I swear I am the only on who reads this and this blog is a very public, self-involved diary. I also do this because I miss things that I want to document and I realized we have a huge omission in our Lotus history and that is Jade. Jade is our nanny. I couldn't live with out her. On the days it is just Lotus and I sometimes Lotus looks up at me and says "I miss Jade." and seriously I totally understand.

A year ago we were looking for someone to watch Lotus occasionally and someone who could watch her more than occasionally when I started school in the fall. The coincided with a super fun time when Lotus would scream her head off whenever anyone entered our house. Not babysitters, but guests or delivery people or anyone. That sets a potential nanny at ease, let me tell ya. It was a good way to weed out the weaker ones. In any case we interviewed a few, but nobody seemed right. Around this time we had some friends visit from Australia and after a drive of Golden Gate Park we stopped by the Park Chalet, a cute restaurant out by the beach. While the adults were chatting Lotus started laughing in a way that was unbelievable. I had never heard her laugh like that unless Nate or I were involved. I saw an adorable waitress across the room making silly faces at my kid and I beelined for her. She must have thought I was nuts, since I think I said this. "Hi, I'm her mom. She doesn't laugh like that usually, do you babysit?"

Thank god I didn't scare her off, since she now spends three afternoons a week with Lotus and truly has become part of our family.


Not to brag about how amazing our nanny is, but here I go. Here name has become ubiquitous with amazing nanny. We have a few new parent friends who have gotten to know Jade and they have been known to say "How do I find a Jade?" I just tell them to hang out in restaurants and see who they meet

My dear friend Elizabeth stopped by last week with her doggie Lula Poki Pineapple or Lula the Pineapple according to Lotus. Elizabethe or Auntie Boo as she would like Lotus to refer to her as is my "Into the Wild" friend. I rarely see her because she off living off the land and having grand adventures. I picture her life a bit like Chris McCandless, except she's a field botanist who works for the Federal Park System, so she has a job, as far as I know has never burned all her cash and knows what she is doing. But she is never at one park for long, all her belongings fit in her Chevy Tahoe and camps a lot, so that seems very counter-culture, checking out of society to me.

It was great to see her and have her meet Lotus. I'll be damned if I am going to go off to some nature reserve with my toddler, so I had to wait until she could make it to the city to introduce her to my kid. She blew through town on her way to Colorado for her summer gig.

I don't know if Auntie Boo will take hold in Lotus' vocab, but Lula the Pineapple now trips off her tongue. We added this photo to Lotus' bedside collection of dogs she loves. It helps bolster our argument to her father that she needs a dog.

My iPhone is now creator and home to all my favorite pictures of Lotus. Love the camera on this thing. I snapped this one this morning. Lotus is fairly potty trained, so she decided that all her guys needed diapers. She did it all herself and is quite pleased with herself.

I was pretty worried that the neighbors were going to call CPS. Every time we had to brush or wash or touch Lotus' hair she would scream and cry. Once of us would have to pin her down to the ground and them she would try and crawl on her belly Israeli arm style to escape the evil detangler and comb. Sometimes yelling at the top of her lungs, "Stop that mommy, stop hitting me". Which can't sound good. I decided this was a battle I did not need.

Lotus has this chic French friend, Margeaux (and yes at 2 if you are French you can be chic) with adorable short hair. After one of these hair tussles I looked at Lotus and said "Do you want short hair like Margeaux?" "yes, mommy, yes" was Lotus' enthusiastic response. So we trucked on down to Snippity Crickets and said chop it off.

Here are some before, during and after photos.

Before

During

And very happy afterwards

Needless to say she loves it short and though it still has to be brushed it's no longer the traumatic event for all.

Lotus and I jaunted up to Portland for a quick trip before school got to hectic to meet my new niece Mila. Who clearly I love so much that I didn't take one picture of her. Really not one, what is wrong with me. I did take a lot of pictures of Kaiya and Lotus. They are ridiculous together, though Lotus really personifies that line in the Pretender's song "it's a thin line between love and hate". She loves Kaiya so much and gets so excited to see her that she hits her, in the face, with a spoon, a metal spoon. Here is a photo moments before Lotus hit Kaiya.

Then when Kaiya is crying she gets upset and says "What happened to Kaiya?" Kaiya is pretty amazing and doesn't hit back (though no one would blame the girl if she did) and seems to love Lotus even with the sort of immense physicality of the situation. We had a great time. My sister is amazing, she does it all with two kids and I barely hold it together. Lotus flew really well, she loved seeing Poppa and we even made a quick trip to see her other cousin Katya and Roma. The girls are all so cute together. It's enough to make me want to move to Portland, especially when I saw my dream house for sale at a price that wouldn't get us a garage in SF.

I keep hearing the weather is terrible, but SF is not that much better. Though after all the trouble it took to get Lotus into preschool we are not going anywhere anytime soon.

In February we attended the annual Tamale Party for Families with kids from Guatemala. This was the second year we went and it was so much fun. The weather people had threatened terrible weather, so I was worried we wouldn't make it, but we braved the elements and treked down to Palo Alto. Even with the bad weather there were about 50 families there. We saw some old friends and made some new ones.


It's tough right now for us Guatemala adoptive families. There have been some terrible salacious and and sometimes down right false media reports about adoptions from Guatemala. The international adoption system is currently shut down in Guatemala. We have been lucky that we haven't gotten too many comments. Though I have become a mad woman writing letters and commenting on blogs anytime someone reports something erroneous.

I crave these events because we can relax. I don't have to try and decifer the weird look someone is giving my family. I don't have to deflect or reeducate the seemingly harmless comments. The families are all great. We have made great friends and it is so darn cute to see Lotus and the other kids play so well together.




The event commences with the smashing of a pinata and then the free-for-all candy madness. Lotus had a great time watching the bedlam, but we thought it was best for all is this year she sat out the blindfold and a bat. I mean seriously who thinks of these ideas.

I think it's about time I just admitted I update this thing quarterly. I don't know why it takes me so long to get my act together. I really thought I'd have more time this semester, since I am now a part time student, but somehow all my time gets monopolized pretty quickly with our Lotus Beancake.

In any case the past few months have been filled with good times and some crazy ones. There are two big announcements in Lotus' life. First, she has moved to a big girl bed. If you have been to our house anytime in the past two months I am sure she has dragged you into see it. The end of last year bedtime became horrible. She would scream for hours, act like she was being boiled alive in hot oil, and wake up constantly. A few people suggested she might be ready to move to a bed and I wasn't ready to have that happen. Then she learned how to climb out of her crib and it was all over. There was no keeping her in her room, so we might as well bite the bullet and get a bed. Lotus and I went to Ikea and she laid on every bed until she picked one that she liked. Then she got to pick out her bed linens, which took awhile as well. We had the best time.

The we got home and replaced her crib with her big girl bed. I will not lie at first it was hell. With nothing to keep her in bed, she didn't stay. We actually were up until 5am once. Nate slept in her bed with her, I slept in her bed with her, she slept in our bed and at times no one slept. Then one night I turned on the TV and Super Nanny was on. She had some format for getting kids to stay in bed, which I immediately decided was ridiculous and there was no way it would work. Until I hadn't slept for five days and I started frantically searching the internet for Super Nanny. And what do you know, Super Nanny is pretty darn Super. Bedtime is pretty easy now. She stays in bed all night and she loves her big girl bed, so hooray for Super Nanny. (I really never thought I would ever say that, in fact I had no idea who super nanny was 6 months ago).

Secondly, Lotus got into preschool! The whole preschool thing in SF is bizarre. We spent more time and effort on preschool applications than I did on my application to Business School and in the end the cost will be similar as well. It was embarrassingly stressful. We went to prescool tours, open houses play dates and interviews. We applied to seven and somehow we got into them all. We chose a great little Waldorf school near our house. I think she is going to love it. She will start two mornings a week this summer and then five days in the fall. My baby starts school it's so amazing.

The Stanton-Pearl clan jaunted down to LA for a few days between Christmas and New Year's. We were hoping to escape some of the bitter cold we had been experiencing and see a few good friends and family.

Lotus was great on the flight. We took the new Virgin America airlines, which is a bit like flying in a night club. She had been talking about the plane ride for a week and found the whole thing pretty exciting.

We arrived in Santa Monica and soon met up with Glen and Andrea who were in town. I was so happy to see them, but a tad disappointed that Logan was spending the night with Andrea's mom. Of course I understand the joy of a night with out your kid, but I was sad not to get to squeeze him.


We had a great couple days with the two of them. Though both Nate and Glen were fighting colds. And it wasn't as warm as I hoped it would be. Lotus kept hanging around the swimming pool, begging to go for a swim. The water in the pool was warm enough, but there was no way I was stripping down to a swim suit to go in with her.

We had a great lunch with Nate's friends Steve and Davi. The next day we had a wonderful day with my cousins, at which Lotus was showered with toys and attention. We all strolled down to the Santa Monica pier and Lotus got to ride a few rides.

On Sunday we went to see an amazing Murakami exhibit at the Geffen MOCA. Lotus loved the big bright paintings and cartoony sculptures. At the exhibit they had an adorable Murakami animation, which Lotus adored, even though it was in Japanese. We then wandered around Little Tokyo. Later in the day we went over to my friend Jaime's and Lotus got to hang with Jaime's dog Jack and the neighbor's cat. Nothing my girl likes more than animals that love her back. Nothing I like more than animals that pay attention to Lotus so I can somewhat relax with a glass of wine and a friend.

Of course our last day in LA the weather was amazing, we had already checked out by the time I made this realization so it was too late to go for a swim, but we enjoyed a lovely New Year's Eve Day in the warm sunshine of Venice and the La Brea Tar Pits.

Happy 2008 everybody!
We got home just in time for Lotus to watch the ball drop in New York. We put Lotus to sleep in her own bed with all her guys (stuffed animals). Nate and I opened a lovely bottle of champagne and then barely stayed awake to usher in the New Year Pacific Time.

Once I decided that Lotus had enough for the time being we headed over to my cousin's house for brunch. Lotus was showered with more love and presents.


Lotus snuggling with Uncle Danny

Lotus with her favorite cousin Kyle. Lotus would have been thrilled to have been left with Kyle for all of Christmas week, but he had to go to France. That doesn't stop Lotus from asking "Kyle back yet?"

Nate had a screening for the film he is working on he same day my finals week started, so for a couple of weeks in December we all lost our minds, had no sleep and no time to even think about the big imposing holiday looming in the future. Thank god we have Jade to help hold down the fort and keep Lotus' life structured. The day I was done with school I wanted to collapse in a heap, but alas as a parent that doesn't get to really happen. Lotus and I did play "napping" and I must confess that I feel asleep for a minute or so. After the nap I had to jump up and into the consumer chaos that is Christmas.

We did manage to squeeze in the annual torture of our child by having her take a photo with Santa. We got to the mall, I had her watch about a dozen kids take their picture. I asked her many times if she wanted to do it. She was very excited and eagerly said yes. When it was her turn we placed her on his lap and she immediately started screaming and took a swing at Santa. It was of course the same Santa from last year, who I swear remembered us. Thus I am also in the holiday photo, looking somewhat crazed.


Christmas morning my dad came over to participate in the present opening event. In all fairness Nate and I lost our minds with presents for Lotus. I actually made her spread it out over several days because it was just too much. I'll let the photos speak for themselves.

Scraps has finally started to see the light. Nate is gone most of the day, I am not really a cat fan, nor have the time (or in all honesty the inclination) to give Scraps a ton of attention, but Lotus on the other hand desires nothing more than to shower Scraps with hugs, kisses and pets. She really is pretty amazing with animals, and other cats let her carry them around, but Scraps has been pretty bitter and insubordinate since Lotus' arrival. Yet almost two years later he finally starting to come around. He stays in the room when she is around and has even let her hand graze his fur. By the time she's sixteen he might even sit on her lap.

Thanksgiving was wonderful. Nate and I both needed a break from our projects and Lotus needed both her parents to be in the same room. We had a great relaxing Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's house, where my adorable cousins Kyle and Loren lavished Lotus with attention. I was looking forward to a few leisurely days, so I was positive my husband had lost his mind when he suggested a trek to Union Square the next day, a day the US so lovingly refers to as Black Friday. I had been aghast at the news coverage of people waiting in line all night and then scrambling and tussling with the other crazy folks to get a deal on designer purses or big screen TV. Really the last place any sane person would be is near a shopping area on the biggest shopping day of the year. I knew he had been working hard, but I had no idea he was going to require medical attention.

Nate reassured me he just wanted to see the Christmas windows and decorations and shopping was the last thing on his mind. We trucked down there on MUNI, which Lotus loves, that could have been our whole day and she would have been thrilled. We exited at Union Square and I prepared myself for a throngs of people and a panic attack. But I was pleasantly surprised, the insane shoppers had either gone home or were inside. Very few people were in front of the Christmas windows and Lotus loved the Macy's windows with the animals available for adoption in them. Union Square itself was fairly idle and we found a place by the huge Christmas tree to drink coffee and watch the madness.

Right after Halloween we took a weekend trip to Monterey. Nate and I made a pact not to try and force Lotus to nap. This always seems to be the crux of weekend away breakdowns. We spend several hours in a hotel room trying to get Lotus to nap and we all get annoyed. We decided to just go for it all day long, if she passes out so be it, but otherwise we would just press on.

We arrived late on Friday night and got up early and headed out the the aquarium. It was a great day. Lotus loved the fish and the whole place. It got pretty crowded so we decided to take a break for a bit and go for a walk. We were blessed with amazing weather and walked this beautiful path all the way to Pacific Grove. And Lotus didn't nap. We returned to the aquarium for otter feeding time, which I was way more into than she was. We got another hour in before we had seen all we could see.




The minute we got her in the car Lotus collapsed. Since our options were sitting in the parking lot of the Embassy Suites or going for a drive we chose drive. We took a lovely drive through Carmel and 17 mile drive. It felt very grown up.








The next day we drove to Santa Cruz and had breakfast with our friends Amy, Erik, Suzi and Sydney. Lotus loves them (as do we) and it was a great way to break up the drive before we headed home.

The end result was our most successful weekend away. Fun had by all!

The past few months Lotus Maria's personality has really blossomed. She is talking a ton and cracks me up on a daily basis. She also has learned how to push buttons and is quite an expert. One of her favorite activities is to look right at me, grab something she knows she is not supposed to have and laugh hysterically as she runs away. She then retreats to behind her rocking chair where it is almost impossible to reach her or dislodge whatever dangerous object she has in her clutches.

The fall was difficult on Lotus, my school was very time consuming and Nate's work was as well. Lotus was a trooper, even though she was being shuffled between us and Jade. She also is testing boundries and has made defiance an art form. She has learned that making mommy and daddy laugh is a sure fire way to end a timeout. It's hard to stay mad at her when she's so darn cute.

Here are a few shots of our little ham.

The day after Halloween Pixar has an annual kiddie parade. This was an event I loved when I worked there and couldn't wait to bring my own child to parade around the building in her adorable Halloween digs. But after the Marina parade fiasco I wasn't looking forward to pinning my child down and forcing her to wear her costume again. Really, isn't that some form of abuse? But telling her she got to see Daddy, she seemed to be less annoyed with the whole thing. She struggled, but didn't scream, so that was progress.

Lotus always has a blast at Pixar. Really the nicest people in the world work at Pixar and Lotus loves seeing all her Pixar friends and their kids. So even though we had to hide more candy from her, which is sort of like stealing from my child and doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, it was a great time.

As I mentioned last year for 3 months a year our local empty lot becomes a Halloween and Christmas wonderland. Lotus and I love visiting the pumpkin patch. This year she found out they had Hay Rides and she was in heaven. Seriously, it's just a tractor driving around the lot with sporadically placed stuffed animals, but city kids think it's the funniest thing EVER.


After visiting almost every day for a few weeks we picked out a pumpkin and Lotus helped carve it.



She had a blast and was thrilled with the final product.

Lotus is not a costume lover. Her friend Courtney gave her an adorable ladybug costume for her birthday, so we had about 6 weeks to try and change her opinion about dressing up. I would take her to the local pumpkin patch and point out kids in costumes. "Look how cute he is" I'd say "It's a giraffe, horse, whatever...". I swear she would roll her eyes and shoot the cute costumed child a scornful glance. I have no idea how she got so cynical.

Needless to say on Halloween day I struggled her into her ladybug hoodie, painted her face and put her hair in little antennae all while she was screaming her head off. We headed over to her friend Ria's house to participate in the Marina Halloween parade.

It didn't take long for Simran (Ria's mom) and I to decide that Halloween is the worst idea in the world. Here's how it went, we forced our daughters into costumes they didn't want to be in. We asked them to walk down the street and be polite to strangers. They said please, thank you and happy Halloween. They were pretty great kids. Then strangers gave them candy and we wrestled it out of there hands and they screamed. Doesn't that sound like fun. And I know most of you are thinking "it's one day, just give her the candy." A) You clearly haven't seen my kid on sugar, B) I did let her have one piece, but there was no way she was going to get a bag full, and C) A good portion on the candy that was handed out was hard candy, thus a chocking hazard and I haven't had to use the skills I learned in my baby CPR class to work yet and I don't want to any time soon.

And if that wasn't enough we are trolling down this packed street with a ton of other parents all walking the same way, holding on to your kids hand and pushing your stroller. There is always some parent trying to spawn the opposite way the majority are going, which just causes stroller chaos. So there is a tangle of children and strollers and exasperation. But the time we made it up the street I was done and cranky.


By the evening I was somewhat recovered and Nate and I took Lotus trick or treating in the neighborhood. We were going to go to the "cool Halloween neighborhood" where everyone goes to trick or treat, but I rethought that idea after our morning. We had a great time in our 'hood. Mostly Lotus thought she was visiting all her favorite neighbors and got to pet all the doggies on our block. She didn't even know to ask for candy and we were able to give the signal not to offer.
We survived another Halloween and we only had one more costumed event to go.

The past few months has been a time for transitions. At the end of August I started Business School at The Presidio School of Management in SF. School is amazing, it integrates social and environmental values into every course, the class load is great, the classes are only 4 days a month and my school colleagues are pretty terrific. But the work load is kicking my butt. Finding a balance between school and motherhood has been challenging and there certainly have been some guilt ridden moments, but for the most part I think I am so much happier and that means I am a better mom, even if my time is limited. Lotus is trucking along pretty well with these changes. She loves her nanny Jade, and during the weekends I am in school she has a great time with Nate.




On top of that I decided to throw a benefit for Alzheimer's Association. Nate thought I was insane to add this to my plate, but even with his doubts he partnered with me and helped gather artist submissions. So last weekend with threw a pretty amazing art auction. We put the whole thing together in 4 weeks, we had over 70 pieces of donated art, from a wide range of artists, and our friends at Maverix Studios donated their great gallery space. The evening started with a silent auction that got pretty frenzied at the end and then we grabbed some the most valued pieces and had a live auction as well. Our dear friend Derek helped gather bidding momentum and helped us raise over $14,000. All I can say is you missed out if you weren't there.

You are still welcome to donate to the cause, though you will not get any amazing art in exchange for your donation. Follow this link:
http://memorywalk.kintera.org/treasureisland07/estherpearl

For more details about the auction check out our friend Jamie's Blog, since I don't think I can do the event justice the way he did: http://www.james-baker.com/news/2007/10/maverix-auction-6.html

Lotus has the men in her life wrapped around her little finger. She certainly is a daddy's girl, Uncle Matt does what ever she orders him to do and my dad softens at the sight of her. I had some hope that Ron would be tougher than the rest of the lot, but he may be the worst of all.

From the minute Ron and Gloria arrived Lotus grabbed Ron by the hand and dragged him into her room, where he played with her forever. If that wasn't enough she brought him outside (on a not so warm afternoon) and made him play in her play house with her. Now the playhouse is Lotus sized and Ron is quite tall, and yet even though he was contorted into yoga like positions he didn't complain a bit.

Considering it wasn't that long ago she barely would let anyone besides Nate and I touch her these photos of her with her Poppa Ron speak a thousand words.

Auntie Andrea, Uncle Glen and Logan sent Lotus these adorable wings and wand for her bday and this picture slays me.


They also sent her a bowl and placemat. She carries tha placemat around like a blanket and refuses to eat out of anything other than the bowl. Do you think someone loves her baby and his family or what?

The Saturday of Lotus birthday party we awoke to some heavy SF fog, which was not thrilling since her party was to be outdoors and in the park, but miracles of miracles just in time for the festivities the sun broke through and we had a marvelous day.

Nate's folks flew in again from the East Coast, which was pretty wonderful of them. Most of Lotus' good buddies made it and the weather cooperated so I say it was a great day. Lotus got some amazing presents and was pretty into the whole event and all the attention.

I really marveled at how in our short time as parents Nate and I have connected with some really awesome families.

The next day Lotus woke up and said, "Mommy, I like presents." Don't we all mi hija, don't we all.

On September 11th Lotus celebrated her 2nd birthday and Nate and I learned a valuable lesson. Don't tell your kid the night before their birthday that "Tomorrow is your birthday!!! YEAH!", because apparantly they won't to go to sleep, since they are too excited for this upcoming event. Even if they have no idea what a birthday is.

Lotus woke up at almost the stroke of midnight (right about the time we were ready to go to bed after putting together and wrapping her presents) and refused to go back to sleep. At 4am we had to go for a walk so she could see that everyone else in the neighborhood was sleeping and at 5am I snapped "if you don't go to sleep I am canceling your birthday..." so I was the best mom ever!

So her actual birthday was a little surreal. But she was pretty happy with the new playhouse Nate and I got her and some other presents.





Blowing out her pie at home since we were all so tired we couldn't make it through dinner at the restaurant.

As anyone who has spent time in Northern Cali knows the end of the summer is when the weather gets good around here. So Lotus and I had some fun outdoor adventures in August. We spent a day in Napa with her friend Ria. We went to the beach in Capitola with our neighbors and met up with my friend Meredith and her cute kiddos, and we have spent many a day outdoors in good ole SF.

here are some shots from our days in the sun

Lotus and Ria in Napa



Lotus, Ria and Brody in the Presidio


A few months ago the new Children's Playground opened up in Golden Gate Park. This is the creme de la creme of playgrounds and we are lucky enough to live a few blocks from it. Even though is has all the coolest playground ecotruments Lotus' favorite park is the carrosuel. Anytime we are anywhere near the park she says "Can we ride horseys mommy?" It's terrible ordeal when the carrosuel is closed. We need to convince her that the horseys are sleeping. Her are a few pics of her favorite park of Golden Gate Park



Our day at the beach in Capitola