Thursday, June 26, 2014
Lucian's last day of Preschool
Today was Lucian’s last day at his wonderful preschool. During his two years there his truly
unflappable teachers Pat and Ann helped shape him from a toddler to a little
boy. Not only did he learn some amazing
things, made incredible friends and loved every day, but they kept his sprightly
spirit intact. Lucian refuses to write
his letters, and this frustrated me to no end, but everyday I pick up Ann pulls
me aside to show me another Lego creation that Lucian has dreamt up and
built. “See” she’d say reassuringly “He
thinks three dimensionally, you have nothing to worry about.” Like Lotus before
him Lucian blossomed under the care of these amazing preschool teachers.
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I’m excited for Lucian to go to summer camp with Lotus in a
couple weeks, but nervous as well, since change is not his favorite thing. At summer camp and then kindergarten in the
fall he will have his big sister to look after him and she always is his
greatest protector.
An era has ended when we said goodbye to his preschool
teachers Nate and I realized he have no one else to send to this adorable
school and though we are certainly happy to be out of the toddler phase and are
really looking forward to have two kids in one school for at least two years. None-the-less it does make me miss my baby
boy. But excited about his next phase!
Monday, December 23, 2013
A moment I want to remember
Today I took Lotus and Lucian to a local gymnastics studio for a holiday day camp. Nate and I needed sometime to get things ready for Christmas and both the kids have enjoyed taking classes here in the past. As I drove them there this morning I realized this is the first time I have ever dropped them off some place together. They are 3 1/2 years apart and are in different schools. Next year we will have some overlap for a couple of years, but then that will pretty much be it, depending upon high schools and that seems like a lifetime away.
I was so grateful for this opportunity this morning. They are so close and I know that they will look out for each other. So though a day camp was a new experience for Lucian I knew they would be fine. When I pulled up at the gymnastics studio I had the opportunity to park and walk them in or pull over to a drop spot and have them be escorted out of the car by one of the camp counselors. They chose for me to just drop and go. I knew that Lotus would help Lucian every step of the way.
They slid out of the car and held hands until they got inside. A Christmas joy if there ever was one.
So my moment of gratitude... my children who came from almost opposite sides of the planet and into this world so differently are, for now, are the closest siblings I know.
I was so grateful for this opportunity this morning. They are so close and I know that they will look out for each other. So though a day camp was a new experience for Lucian I knew they would be fine. When I pulled up at the gymnastics studio I had the opportunity to park and walk them in or pull over to a drop spot and have them be escorted out of the car by one of the camp counselors. They chose for me to just drop and go. I knew that Lotus would help Lucian every step of the way.
They slid out of the car and held hands until they got inside. A Christmas joy if there ever was one.
So my moment of gratitude... my children who came from almost opposite sides of the planet and into this world so differently are, for now, are the closest siblings I know.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
A couple new Lucianisms
A little back story... Lucian eats like a camel. Once or twice a week he eats non-stop and the rest of the time he basically refuses to eat, especially at dinner. So we are trying to avoid all non-meal snacks.
So right before dinner he tries to sneak an apple.
Me: What are you doing? Put the apple down.
L: Oh the apple and I want to give you a hug
The next night...
After spilling his full cup of water at dinner he says, "That's okay I'm not thirsty anymore"
Lotus's 8th birthday letter
Lotus gave me permission to post this...
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9/11/2013
Dear Lotus,
Today you turn 8! You
are halfway to 16 and you have 8 years (or twice your current age) to convince
Daddy to buy you a car with your name on it.
The past year it has been such a joy to watch you change
from a little rambunctious kid to a truly amazing person. I have had the best time traveling with you
and getting to know you.
The other day you were mad at me and mumbled “You want me to
be just like you.” That’s not true, but I do want you to seize every
opportunity (just like my mom wanted for me), so you can figure out who you
are, what you like, what you want to do.
I want you to continue to dance to the beat of your own drummer and not
worry about what other people want to do and be influenced only by what the
world thinks you should like. The only
way to do that is get out a experience all sorts of things and that’s what I
want every time I drag you to something “boring”.
Lately we have had a few conversations about being your
“real” parents or if Lucian is your “real brother. I know it must be confusing and I am sorry
that Daddy, Lucian and I can’t relate to this.
We will always try though. And I
know you try to call me your real mom and M your biological mom. Thank you for doing that.
But what you need to know is that those are just words and
all that matters to me is that in my heart and soul you are my REALEST, REAL
DAUGHTER.
I carry this poem in my heart and hopefully you can carry it
in yours
Not
flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart,
But in it.
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart,
But in it.
I
love you sweet girl!
Happy
Birthday
Love,
Mommy
Sunday, July 14, 2013
This is not about our kids... just my thoughts as a mother about Trayvon Martin
The Trayvon Martin case verdict weighs heavily on me. I know I am not alone. A boy is dead and the state laws allowed the shooter to remain free. But what concerns me, as a parent and as a person, is the systemic issues we have created as a society to allow this sort of tragedy.
I live in a community where crime is prevalent, police are both understaffed and not always trusted and people are scared. Scared of being harmed or their homes and belongings being violated. We don't have enough police so our community relies more and more on private security and many individuals believe they are are on their own when it comes to their safety. They choose to arm themselves or band together to protect themselves from outsiders. And do we really know who these people are? Are they trained to handle the responsibility and the weapons that they often carry? In my own neighborhood we had a senseless double homicide a couple weeks ago. The shooter was a security guard and carried a weapon for his job... though maybe not legally. He was getting food at a local restaurant and somehow felt his safety was being threatened. He ran to the back of the restaurant and when the staff came to check on him he shot and killed them both. I know their isn't a lot in common with these murders and Trayvon Martin's, but I see the correlation as senseless deaths by people with guns who felt like or had a right to carry them.
What do I tell my children about these neighborhood watch groups and private security? They aren't the police, I have no idea who they are. Is public safety a priority for them? If something was to happen or go wrong I can't tell my kids to find someone in a uniform, since so many of them wear uniforms that look similar to police. If my kids were being followed through our neighborhood by someone in a private car wearing plain clothes I would advise them to try and run away and if that didn't work to fight back.
And what do we do about the guns? Why can't we have a discussion about gun control. With out a doubt Trayvon Martin would still be alive if George Zimmerman wasn't armed, so would the restaurant employees in my neighborhood, so would the kids in Newtown, the list goes on and on. I am not suggesting we outlaw weapons... actually I would suggest that, but I know that would cause people to freak out, but what about proper training and waiting periods... can we just talk about that?
A mother's son is dead and my heart breaks for her as a mother and I hope we can come together to look at the deeper issues here. Our lack of public services, like police officers, racial prejudices and our concern for the rights of gun owners over the safety of our people.
I live in a community where crime is prevalent, police are both understaffed and not always trusted and people are scared. Scared of being harmed or their homes and belongings being violated. We don't have enough police so our community relies more and more on private security and many individuals believe they are are on their own when it comes to their safety. They choose to arm themselves or band together to protect themselves from outsiders. And do we really know who these people are? Are they trained to handle the responsibility and the weapons that they often carry? In my own neighborhood we had a senseless double homicide a couple weeks ago. The shooter was a security guard and carried a weapon for his job... though maybe not legally. He was getting food at a local restaurant and somehow felt his safety was being threatened. He ran to the back of the restaurant and when the staff came to check on him he shot and killed them both. I know their isn't a lot in common with these murders and Trayvon Martin's, but I see the correlation as senseless deaths by people with guns who felt like or had a right to carry them.
What do I tell my children about these neighborhood watch groups and private security? They aren't the police, I have no idea who they are. Is public safety a priority for them? If something was to happen or go wrong I can't tell my kids to find someone in a uniform, since so many of them wear uniforms that look similar to police. If my kids were being followed through our neighborhood by someone in a private car wearing plain clothes I would advise them to try and run away and if that didn't work to fight back.
And what do we do about the guns? Why can't we have a discussion about gun control. With out a doubt Trayvon Martin would still be alive if George Zimmerman wasn't armed, so would the restaurant employees in my neighborhood, so would the kids in Newtown, the list goes on and on. I am not suggesting we outlaw weapons... actually I would suggest that, but I know that would cause people to freak out, but what about proper training and waiting periods... can we just talk about that?
A mother's son is dead and my heart breaks for her as a mother and I hope we can come together to look at the deeper issues here. Our lack of public services, like police officers, racial prejudices and our concern for the rights of gun owners over the safety of our people.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Foreign Travel
So yet again we ignored all general advice about taking kids on far flung travel adventures and at the end of March jumped on a flight to London and then took at train to Brussels to celebrate the wedding of my dear friends Miles and Joe.
I guess my kids look enough like experienced travelers at this point that we don't get the stink eye in the boarding area. Or I am an experienced enough traveler with my kids to truly not give a damn what you think about my family on a 10 hour flight. Even if they screamed the whole time (which they don't) you will survive. And I know I digress a lot but what's it will the comments section on any article on travel that fills people with a need to rant about the hate for kids on planes. No infant or toddler has ever behaved worse than a drunk businessman. I've been on flights with both... and so have you...
In any case the kids were awesome (thank you again rear seat entertainment on Virgin airlines) and the flight seemed down right short after our journey to Australia last year.
Andrea met us at Heathrow with a smile and 4 inches of snow on the ground! The kids had been begging us to take them to the snow this winter... I think they meant Tahoe, but hey ask and you shall receive.
We spent the first day at our lovely friends home and just relaxed and got used to the time change and the cold weather. The kids had a snowball fight. Reconnected with their buddy Logan and got to know Isla, Logan's little sister.
The next day we braved the cold and saw the changing of the guard at Buckingham palace or at least part of it until we all decided that inside would be nicer, since it was snowing! (Did I mention that it was the END of MARCH!) Then we hit up the really amazing science museum and natural history museum. London is really a great place for families. The tube and almost every activity is free for kids.
That evening we stole our nephew Ben away from his cool semester abroad life for an evening of hanging with his family. Since he is the most amazing 20 year old male on the planet he didn't complain one bit and our kids basked in the glow of their very cool cousin.
The next day we dragged our kids to Westminster Abbey, which they were thoroughly unimpressed with and I had an awesome moment where I was yelling at them in a super quiet and meditative chamber. Old buildings +a 7 year old + 3 year old = disaster was that lesson for the day.
But they did like the guards at the Horse Parade... and the hot chocolate I bribed them with later.
On our last day in London Nate took the kids to the Transportation Museum while Andrea and I escaped kid free for what we hoped would be breakfast and shopping, but it was so F@#$# cold that we just sat in the breakfast spot and keep getting more tea and then drove past the shops! I met up with the family for some time at the Tate Modern and then our final evening with our lovely hosts to celebrate Glen's birthday.
We had such an amazing time with Andrea and Glen and it breaks my heart that we live so far from each other. It is magic when two families get along so well. They kids just love each other and Logan and Isla were just fantastic at sharing their space. It's not easy when you have 2 new little people in your space for several days and they were just lovely
The next morning we hopped on the Eurostar to head under the chunnel (or is it in the chunnel?) to Brussels. Why or why doesn't the US have a high speed train? The trip was just two relaxing hours. The kids loved watching the countryside speed by. I loved leaving downtown London and arriving in the center of Brussels. We really are so stupid for not having this option, but I digress.
We arrived in Brussels and had a lovely, but chilly day to ourselves looking at the beautiful city, eating frites (though I have the strangest children that don't like french fries...), drinking yummy beer and hot chocolate.
The next morning we met the one of the grooms, my wonderful friend Miles, for lunch and along with our dear friends Liam and Rick, also over from the Bay Area for the festivities. We spent the day with Liam and Rick getting lost in Brussels trying to find the god damned Tin Tin museum. Brussels is a gorgeous, but frustrating city. The amazing buildings in the Grand Place... no sign as to what they are. Mannekin Pis, the famous statue of the little boy.. well pissing... you can basically walk by it since there's no sign. The only other major tourist attraction is the Comics Museum. There are street signs that get you to the general area, but not on the exact street, no one seems to know exactly where it is and when it's cold and you have 2 small and whining children you can go mad looking for it. We gave up with Liam and Rick, and settled for more beer and hot chocolate.
That night we had a dinner with Miles and Joe and their lovely out of town guests. Since we were the only ones crazy enough to bring our kids I was worried that they would last mere moments, but it turns out Lotus has found her people and she was truly the Belle of the Gay Wedding Ball. Lucian and Nate took off around 9pm, but Lotus and I stayed until close to midnight and Lotus and her new pals were devastated when I said we needed to call it a night.
The next evening we attended the most fabulous wedding party ever. It started at 9pm and it was at a night club. Miles was kind enough to arrange a sitter for us, so Nate was able to take part in the festivities. And this was not the first time (or even the second) that Miles arranged for Nate to be at a drag show. My husband is truly a good sport. But what better guests at a wedding than drag queens? Really every wedding should have them.
In all seriousness it was so wonderful be able to witness Miles and Joe's official commitment to one another. As I have known them their whole relationship I knew this was just a formality, since they have loved, honored and been committed to one another for the past decade and a half. But since very few states in the United States would even allow their wedding or recognize their marriage they became CITIZENS of another country and frankly I doubt they will ever live here again. So way to go US we have lost 2 amazing Americans (and I doubt this is the only reason why they have left, but hey let's add it to the wood pile). And for those of us who just waltzed into City Hall and filled out some paperwork would we make that commitment to gain citizenship to another country to formalize our relationship?
The party went until the break of dawn, but we lasted until 1am. Knowing that the kids would insist on things like breakfast the next morning... which of course was Easter. We attempted an Easter day in the Royal Gardens until I was too bloody cold and pulled rank and insisted that we forgo Easter Eggs for an Yves St. Laurent exhibit, which Lotus was okay with since it was heated and Lucian was less than thrilled. But in Brussels you can always bribe the children with chocolate and waffles... which I did.
The next morning we hoped back on the Eurostar and lickety split we were back in London... again why don't we have this? We checked into our gorgeous hotel and everyone thought we were sort of insane for not just spending the day there, but it wasn't freezing for once and we had one last day in London. We made our way to the London Eye, which Lucian tried to give me a heart attack by slamming himself up against the windows when we were at our highest point. Then I was allowed at 15 minute stop in Top Shop which we followed with Hadley's for the kids, (I cried a bit inside when I past my dear friend Liberties of London with out as much as a walk through). Finally a somewhat traditional pub stop and then back to our gorgeous hotel. The kids watched TV while in the bath and Andrea came by for a glass of wine and to say goodbye.
Lotus is now telling everyone she will be spending her summers with Uncle Miles and Uncle Joe, so I am guessing we will be back soon, but not soon enough!
I guess my kids look enough like experienced travelers at this point that we don't get the stink eye in the boarding area. Or I am an experienced enough traveler with my kids to truly not give a damn what you think about my family on a 10 hour flight. Even if they screamed the whole time (which they don't) you will survive. And I know I digress a lot but what's it will the comments section on any article on travel that fills people with a need to rant about the hate for kids on planes. No infant or toddler has ever behaved worse than a drunk businessman. I've been on flights with both... and so have you...
In any case the kids were awesome (thank you again rear seat entertainment on Virgin airlines) and the flight seemed down right short after our journey to Australia last year.
Andrea met us at Heathrow with a smile and 4 inches of snow on the ground! The kids had been begging us to take them to the snow this winter... I think they meant Tahoe, but hey ask and you shall receive. We spent the first day at our lovely friends home and just relaxed and got used to the time change and the cold weather. The kids had a snowball fight. Reconnected with their buddy Logan and got to know Isla, Logan's little sister.
The next day we braved the cold and saw the changing of the guard at Buckingham palace or at least part of it until we all decided that inside would be nicer, since it was snowing! (Did I mention that it was the END of MARCH!) Then we hit up the really amazing science museum and natural history museum. London is really a great place for families. The tube and almost every activity is free for kids.
That evening we stole our nephew Ben away from his cool semester abroad life for an evening of hanging with his family. Since he is the most amazing 20 year old male on the planet he didn't complain one bit and our kids basked in the glow of their very cool cousin.
The next day we dragged our kids to Westminster Abbey, which they were thoroughly unimpressed with and I had an awesome moment where I was yelling at them in a super quiet and meditative chamber. Old buildings +a 7 year old + 3 year old = disaster was that lesson for the day.
On our last day in London Nate took the kids to the Transportation Museum while Andrea and I escaped kid free for what we hoped would be breakfast and shopping, but it was so F@#$# cold that we just sat in the breakfast spot and keep getting more tea and then drove past the shops! I met up with the family for some time at the Tate Modern and then our final evening with our lovely hosts to celebrate Glen's birthday.
We had such an amazing time with Andrea and Glen and it breaks my heart that we live so far from each other. It is magic when two families get along so well. They kids just love each other and Logan and Isla were just fantastic at sharing their space. It's not easy when you have 2 new little people in your space for several days and they were just lovely
The next morning we met the one of the grooms, my wonderful friend Miles, for lunch and along with our dear friends Liam and Rick, also over from the Bay Area for the festivities. We spent the day with Liam and Rick getting lost in Brussels trying to find the god damned Tin Tin museum. Brussels is a gorgeous, but frustrating city. The amazing buildings in the Grand Place... no sign as to what they are. Mannekin Pis, the famous statue of the little boy.. well pissing... you can basically walk by it since there's no sign. The only other major tourist attraction is the Comics Museum. There are street signs that get you to the general area, but not on the exact street, no one seems to know exactly where it is and when it's cold and you have 2 small and whining children you can go mad looking for it. We gave up with Liam and Rick, and settled for more beer and hot chocolate.
That night we had a dinner with Miles and Joe and their lovely out of town guests. Since we were the only ones crazy enough to bring our kids I was worried that they would last mere moments, but it turns out Lotus has found her people and she was truly the Belle of the Gay Wedding Ball. Lucian and Nate took off around 9pm, but Lotus and I stayed until close to midnight and Lotus and her new pals were devastated when I said we needed to call it a night.
The next evening we attended the most fabulous wedding party ever. It started at 9pm and it was at a night club. Miles was kind enough to arrange a sitter for us, so Nate was able to take part in the festivities. And this was not the first time (or even the second) that Miles arranged for Nate to be at a drag show. My husband is truly a good sport. But what better guests at a wedding than drag queens? Really every wedding should have them. In all seriousness it was so wonderful be able to witness Miles and Joe's official commitment to one another. As I have known them their whole relationship I knew this was just a formality, since they have loved, honored and been committed to one another for the past decade and a half. But since very few states in the United States would even allow their wedding or recognize their marriage they became CITIZENS of another country and frankly I doubt they will ever live here again. So way to go US we have lost 2 amazing Americans (and I doubt this is the only reason why they have left, but hey let's add it to the wood pile). And for those of us who just waltzed into City Hall and filled out some paperwork would we make that commitment to gain citizenship to another country to formalize our relationship?
The party went until the break of dawn, but we lasted until 1am. Knowing that the kids would insist on things like breakfast the next morning... which of course was Easter. We attempted an Easter day in the Royal Gardens until I was too bloody cold and pulled rank and insisted that we forgo Easter Eggs for an Yves St. Laurent exhibit, which Lotus was okay with since it was heated and Lucian was less than thrilled. But in Brussels you can always bribe the children with chocolate and waffles... which I did.
Lotus is now telling everyone she will be spending her summers with Uncle Miles and Uncle Joe, so I am guessing we will be back soon, but not soon enough!
Monday, April 29, 2013
More Lucianisms
As we rapidly approach Lucian's 4th birthday it's time to document some of the more interesting things that have crossed his lips.When I asked him to stop tossing sand at the playground Lucian responded,"I'm not throwing it, I'm juggling it."
When he accidentally swatted another girl our sitter told him to be more careful and be sure not to hit. Lucian said, with swagger, "I didn't hit her. I gave her a high five on her knee."
We had a friend and her 13 year-old daughter over for dinner. The daughter is a very beautiful young lady and Lucian took notice. He stared at her for a while and then said, "I like you". She smiled awkwardly. Then he got out of his seat and gave her a hug, which was sweet enough but we told him to sit back down. He slid into his seat, smiled at the daughter and said,"you are as sweet as honey." Yup my three old is trying to charm a women 10 years older than him.
He lost a toy combine we got him in London and was devastated. Sobbing he said "let's just go to London and get another combine." "We can't just do that." "Yes" he reasoned "We just get on an airplane. We already did it, let's just do it again"
Lucian not wanting to go to bed explained, "I'm afraid of ghosts, zombies and spiders."
"What do you know about zombies". "I know that zombies have blood and muscles. They throw it at you and they stink."
Driving to school one day, "You know what's funny mama? Burping and farting is funny!"
That's my boy...
