Tuesday, October 21, 2008
My political rant
Did you all think I was really going to stay silent with the most important election of our lifetime looming in the distance??? (I actually feel all elections should be the most important election of our lifetime, so I am not sure this statement is worth more than a tantalizing tidbit to drag readers in). So if you are hoping for a cute story about Lotus and our wacky family antics, feel free to skip ahead.
In the interest of full disclosure and putting it out on the table I am not a McCain supporter, but I used to have a lot of respect for McCain (Dad, you can flip out now and call and yell at me). After the first debate I heard a lot of what he said and was impressed. I was not going to pretend like he had a chance of getting my vote, but I was trying to listen to both candidates and hear both sides. It's called critical thinking and I'd like to be good at it. Certainly his foreign policy experience is worthy of respect and I heard that it in the first debate. But after the last few weeks my respect has been replaced by absolute disgust. And this last debate pushed me over the edge. Mid debate I had to put Lotus in the bathtub, I didn't want her hearing a man, who should be considered a hero, debase himself so much. It has taken me almost a full week to calm down enough to right this all down.
There were so many distortions and half truths that I wouldn't know where to start, so to focus the scope of my rant I am going to focus on one area that hasn't gotten the press I would like it to. McCain brushed off the idea the importance of women's health so patronizingly with his air quotes that I thought I had been scooped up and placed in some less developed country that still treats women like property. Look McCain has indisputable record of not voting on or voting against gender equality issues. But I got to say this clip took the cake and thenwhat really got my goat was when he refered to being an adoptive parent as if that will be some sort of catch all solution.
The one thing, as far as I can tell, that Nate and I have in common with Mr. and Mrs. McCain is being adoptive parents. And like the McCain's we are international adoptive parents, so the idea that the McCain's or the Stanton-Pearl's can promote their adoption as a prescription of a solution in a post-Roe v. Wade world is disingenuous. I can not speak about the McCain's and the circumstance of their adoption, but I can speak about ours and the idea that it is a black and white solution is also ridiculous. I love my daughter more than life itself, but I can not say many days pass where I don't think about her biological mother and the choice that she had to make (and I think choice is a pretty generous word). Lotus attacks every opportunity with such gusto and I am honored that we have the means to present her with many life building opportunities. Does that mean her life is better with us? I can't say, not that I won't say, but I can't say. It tugs at our heart often this triad that has been created, but it's not in balance. Lotus's biological mother knows nothing of her life, she doesn't even really know where she is. Take a moment to think about that. I would DIE if I didn't know where Lotus was for 5 minutes, much less the past 3 years. And that's the way it is for right now, if Lotus is old enough and wants to change that then we support her fully. But as a mother, knowing there is another mother out there that doesn't know where her daughter is... well I'm crying right now thinking about it.
I also am reading The Girls Who Went Away, about the years before Roe v. Wade and teen age mothers who had NO CHOICE and had their children ripped from then and placed for adoption. I doubt those mothers would say adoption is the best answer. That being said adopting our daughter has been the best experience of our life, and through all the craziness and complex feelings there is not a doubt in my mind that we were all meant to be together. All I am saying that is that it is not as black and white as Mr. McCain seemed to make it.
I'm not done yet, sorry. I want to go back to the hand gesture about women's health. Now that I am pregnant with our second child (just checking to see who is still reading, yup it's true). The idea that my health, if some complication arises and we as a family have to make some horrible decision, could possibly be in the hands of this man, seeing as this kid will be born during a new administration, is down right terrifying. The idea of women's health, pregnancy complications, and birth defects and what we would do in any of these situations is something Nate and I have discussed at length. And that's how it should be, choices and decisions being made by the parties involved not some 70 year old white man who doesn't know a damn thing about our family.
Finally, I'd like to know just exactly WHAT Mr. McCain is going to do for single mothers that make the choice to raise their children. Being intimately involved with two amazing single mothers I can say for a fact I don't see anyone from the McCain camp offering up any solutions to these ladies. Furthermore I also don't see anyone from the pro-life movement pounding down their door offering up support, child care or a shoulder to lean on. So someone explain that one to me, please? I will be happy to discuss this offline if anyone wants to give me their thoughts.
Okay, this election is too important to be a one issue election. I am not expecting to change minds (especially since I think about 50 people read this and we all probably agree) I just wanted to speak my peace. I will be HAPPY to continue this discussion if anyone wants to email me or call me.
Thanks for listening,
Love Esther
In the interest of full disclosure and putting it out on the table I am not a McCain supporter, but I used to have a lot of respect for McCain (Dad, you can flip out now and call and yell at me). After the first debate I heard a lot of what he said and was impressed. I was not going to pretend like he had a chance of getting my vote, but I was trying to listen to both candidates and hear both sides. It's called critical thinking and I'd like to be good at it. Certainly his foreign policy experience is worthy of respect and I heard that it in the first debate. But after the last few weeks my respect has been replaced by absolute disgust. And this last debate pushed me over the edge. Mid debate I had to put Lotus in the bathtub, I didn't want her hearing a man, who should be considered a hero, debase himself so much. It has taken me almost a full week to calm down enough to right this all down.
There were so many distortions and half truths that I wouldn't know where to start, so to focus the scope of my rant I am going to focus on one area that hasn't gotten the press I would like it to. McCain brushed off the idea the importance of women's health so patronizingly with his air quotes that I thought I had been scooped up and placed in some less developed country that still treats women like property. Look McCain has indisputable record of not voting on or voting against gender equality issues. But I got to say this clip took the cake and thenwhat really got my goat was when he refered to being an adoptive parent as if that will be some sort of catch all solution.
The one thing, as far as I can tell, that Nate and I have in common with Mr. and Mrs. McCain is being adoptive parents. And like the McCain's we are international adoptive parents, so the idea that the McCain's or the Stanton-Pearl's can promote their adoption as a prescription of a solution in a post-Roe v. Wade world is disingenuous. I can not speak about the McCain's and the circumstance of their adoption, but I can speak about ours and the idea that it is a black and white solution is also ridiculous. I love my daughter more than life itself, but I can not say many days pass where I don't think about her biological mother and the choice that she had to make (and I think choice is a pretty generous word). Lotus attacks every opportunity with such gusto and I am honored that we have the means to present her with many life building opportunities. Does that mean her life is better with us? I can't say, not that I won't say, but I can't say. It tugs at our heart often this triad that has been created, but it's not in balance. Lotus's biological mother knows nothing of her life, she doesn't even really know where she is. Take a moment to think about that. I would DIE if I didn't know where Lotus was for 5 minutes, much less the past 3 years. And that's the way it is for right now, if Lotus is old enough and wants to change that then we support her fully. But as a mother, knowing there is another mother out there that doesn't know where her daughter is... well I'm crying right now thinking about it.
I also am reading The Girls Who Went Away, about the years before Roe v. Wade and teen age mothers who had NO CHOICE and had their children ripped from then and placed for adoption. I doubt those mothers would say adoption is the best answer. That being said adopting our daughter has been the best experience of our life, and through all the craziness and complex feelings there is not a doubt in my mind that we were all meant to be together. All I am saying that is that it is not as black and white as Mr. McCain seemed to make it.
I'm not done yet, sorry. I want to go back to the hand gesture about women's health. Now that I am pregnant with our second child (just checking to see who is still reading, yup it's true). The idea that my health, if some complication arises and we as a family have to make some horrible decision, could possibly be in the hands of this man, seeing as this kid will be born during a new administration, is down right terrifying. The idea of women's health, pregnancy complications, and birth defects and what we would do in any of these situations is something Nate and I have discussed at length. And that's how it should be, choices and decisions being made by the parties involved not some 70 year old white man who doesn't know a damn thing about our family.
Finally, I'd like to know just exactly WHAT Mr. McCain is going to do for single mothers that make the choice to raise their children. Being intimately involved with two amazing single mothers I can say for a fact I don't see anyone from the McCain camp offering up any solutions to these ladies. Furthermore I also don't see anyone from the pro-life movement pounding down their door offering up support, child care or a shoulder to lean on. So someone explain that one to me, please? I will be happy to discuss this offline if anyone wants to give me their thoughts.
Okay, this election is too important to be a one issue election. I am not expecting to change minds (especially since I think about 50 people read this and we all probably agree) I just wanted to speak my peace. I will be HAPPY to continue this discussion if anyone wants to email me or call me.
Thanks for listening,
Love Esther
