Tuesday, January 15, 2013
It's been over a year
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We are finally moving into our remodeled basement. It was a long an
arduous process and I am seriously amazed that there are not more instances of
violence amongst contractors and homeowners. Now we are cleaning out my
office, the attic and the cupboards and closets that had stored all the crap
precious items from our lives that will now live in the basement or perhaps the
recycling bin and in the landfill.
This weekend I was cleaning out the cupboard on top of the refrigerator and found an item that had bared such importance in our lives for so long, but surprisingly hadn't been used for such an extent of time that it now had dust on it... Lucian's nebulizer. I haven't written much about Lucian's infant/toddler asthma, basically because it terrified me, so it's such a relief to have a year's distance from it and not even fully realize that it has been so long since we've needed assistance to make sure Lucian was getting enough oxygen to... ya know... live.
When Lucian was a year old he was diagnosed with asthma. We found out because our saintly pediatrician pointed out to us on our well baby visit that he was struggling to breathe. Our super happy kiddo never once was upset or let on that there was an issue. She promptly wrote in his chart "never ask about disposition" because Lucian disposition never changes he's always silly, happy and has an abundance of energy, even when his oxygen levels were dangerous low.
For a year we had endless doctors appointments, some planned and some emergency. Yes, we were those people that bumped others appointments when I called from the car that his stomach was retracting, making noises that sounded like a seal with a smoking problem and he was really pale and yet still smiling. Our pediatrician was always optimistic that he could outgrow his diagnosis, but also ran allergy test after allergy test to see if there was any other explanation for his monthly bought of dramatic breathing.
And those of you who know Lucian know that being a sickly kid is just not in his DNA. We have had ER visits for his asthma, but we also have had ER visits for splitting his head open when he jumped off the bed. He is a speed demon and fearless monkey. Slowing down to breath or sit confined to my lap for 15 minute intervals to use his nebulizer to drive albuterol into his lungs was torture for him, made only palatable by getting to watch cartoons. His nebulizer and inhaler became like 5th family members. They went on every trip with us. His daycare provider and every babysitter became versed in the signs that an asthma attack was eminent. And every one of my purses carried an inhaler along with one in the glove compartment for good measure.
I hadn’t realized that was our last attack until about a month ago. Lucian awoke from his nap making the horrific barking noise and this time it sounded worse than ever before. I rushed him into the office and the on call pediatrician informed me that it was the croup not asthma. You know you have suffered the PTSD of childhood asthma when you call your husband with glee and say, “our kid just has the croup!”
Here a year out I am so lucky that Lucian’s lungs have matured or grown or whatever they have done that hopefully this all in our past. I am also so grateful that we have the bandwidth, support and health insurance that we were able to concentrate on our kid’s needs not have to worry about how to pay for all that it took to get him to this place.
I think I’ll hang on to the nebulizer for now, but each day that it collects some more dust is all right with me.
This weekend I was cleaning out the cupboard on top of the refrigerator and found an item that had bared such importance in our lives for so long, but surprisingly hadn't been used for such an extent of time that it now had dust on it... Lucian's nebulizer. I haven't written much about Lucian's infant/toddler asthma, basically because it terrified me, so it's such a relief to have a year's distance from it and not even fully realize that it has been so long since we've needed assistance to make sure Lucian was getting enough oxygen to... ya know... live.
When Lucian was a year old he was diagnosed with asthma. We found out because our saintly pediatrician pointed out to us on our well baby visit that he was struggling to breathe. Our super happy kiddo never once was upset or let on that there was an issue. She promptly wrote in his chart "never ask about disposition" because Lucian disposition never changes he's always silly, happy and has an abundance of energy, even when his oxygen levels were dangerous low.
For a year we had endless doctors appointments, some planned and some emergency. Yes, we were those people that bumped others appointments when I called from the car that his stomach was retracting, making noises that sounded like a seal with a smoking problem and he was really pale and yet still smiling. Our pediatrician was always optimistic that he could outgrow his diagnosis, but also ran allergy test after allergy test to see if there was any other explanation for his monthly bought of dramatic breathing.
And those of you who know Lucian know that being a sickly kid is just not in his DNA. We have had ER visits for his asthma, but we also have had ER visits for splitting his head open when he jumped off the bed. He is a speed demon and fearless monkey. Slowing down to breath or sit confined to my lap for 15 minute intervals to use his nebulizer to drive albuterol into his lungs was torture for him, made only palatable by getting to watch cartoons. His nebulizer and inhaler became like 5th family members. They went on every trip with us. His daycare provider and every babysitter became versed in the signs that an asthma attack was eminent. And every one of my purses carried an inhaler along with one in the glove compartment for good measure.
A year ago he had his worst episode. He woke, not long after he went to bed,
making the all-familiar seal barking noise.
Poor Nate was next door at our neighbor’s annual holiday party and
walked back in the door to chaos as I was on the phone with both the on call
physician and the paramedics. Up to this
point Lucian would respond so quickly to his medication that any worry was
fleeting, but not that night. The
paramedics arrived and Lucian gasped at them that they were blocking his view
of the TV. You never realize how tiny
your 2 year old is until half a dozen EMTs and firemen surround him. They were great and got him back to normal
oxygen levels.
I hadn’t realized that was our last attack until about a month ago. Lucian awoke from his nap making the horrific barking noise and this time it sounded worse than ever before. I rushed him into the office and the on call pediatrician informed me that it was the croup not asthma. You know you have suffered the PTSD of childhood asthma when you call your husband with glee and say, “our kid just has the croup!”
Here a year out I am so lucky that Lucian’s lungs have matured or grown or whatever they have done that hopefully this all in our past. I am also so grateful that we have the bandwidth, support and health insurance that we were able to concentrate on our kid’s needs not have to worry about how to pay for all that it took to get him to this place.
I think I’ll hang on to the nebulizer for now, but each day that it collects some more dust is all right with me.
